api kṣemeṇāsminn āśramopavane śaṣpāṇi carantaṁ deva-guptaṁ drak-ṣyāmi. 


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api kṣemeṇāsminn āśramopavane śaṣpāṇi carantaṁ deva-guptaṁ drak-ṣyāmi.

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His mind filled with affection and attachment as he walked here and there in the forest, unaware of the dangers, he would carry the deer on his shoulders since it was helpless, or keep it on his lap or chest. Petting the deer, he felt great bliss.

He would walk on the muddy earth, where there was grass for the deer. He was unaware that the he may sink in the mud (mugdha-bhāvena). He was attached (viṣakta).

|| 5.8.14 ||

kriyāyāṁ nirvartyamānāyām antarāle 'py utthāyotthāya yadainam abhicakṣīta tarhi vāva sa varṣa-patiḥ prakṛti-sthena manasā tasmā āśiṣa āśāste svasti stād vatsa te sarvata iti.

When, in the midst of performing worship of the Lord, he would rise and gaze at the deer, Bharata would offer blessings to the deer with mind joyful on seeing it. “O young deer! All blessings to you!”

While performing worship of the Lord he would think, “I do not know where the deer has gone.” He would rise and look. Prakṛti-sthena means “recovering himself, gaining bliss on seeing the deer.”

|| 5.8.15 ||

anyadā bhṛśam udvigna-manā naṣṭa-draviṇa iva kṛpaṇaḥ sakaruṇam ati-tarṣeṇa hariṇa-kuṇaka-viraha-vihvala-hṛdaya-santāpas tam evānuśocan kila kaśmalaṁ mahad abhirambhita iti hovāca.

Sometimes, not seeing the deer, his mind would become pitifully disturbed, like a miser who has lost his wealth. He would become greatly bewildered and lament. His heart was pained by pangs of separation from the small deer, with longing to see it. He would speak as follows.

Sometimes, not seeing the deer, he would become bewildered out of longing to see it.

|| 5.8.16 ||

api bata sa vai kṛpaṇa eṇa-bālako mṛta-hariṇī-suto 'ho mamānāryasya śaṭha-kirāta-mater akṛta-sukṛtasya kṛta-visrambha ātma-pratyayena tad avigaṇayan sujana ivāgamiṣyati.

Perhaps this young, helpless deer whose mother has died, having faith in me though I am actually cruel like a cunning or low class person and have no pious credits, will not consider my offense and will return out of kindness.

Api indicates possibility. Bata indicates compassion. Aho indicates surprise due to lamentation. I have the cruel mind of a cheater or low class persons. I am heartless, being inattentive to feeding and protecting the young deer (anaryasya). What is the cause? I have not done pious acts. I am without good fortune. Will the deer return, not considering the offenses I have committed out of cruelty? What is the cause of his offense? The deer considered that I was pure like it was, according to the rule “One thinks the world like oneself.” It had faith in me, who cannot be trusted.

 

|| 5.8.17 ||



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