Тапхаевой Ирины, гр. 19.М05-С

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Since ancient times, family and marriage have been linked to each other. In the second half of the 20th century, these two concepts began to diverge. For example, people who married before and who have a child are getting married. Whom will each of them consider his family? Former spouses and their children - is it part of the family or not? And the children of the husband who have a close relationship with his father? All these issues began to be decided depending on the relationship between people. What is a modern family? Children talk about it more understandable. If they are asked to explain this word, they will remember first of all those who care about them, with whom they have constant contact. It can be mom, or dad and grandmother, or mom and her friend and daughter. A feature of the modern family is the variety of models, not necessarily legalized. It doesn`t matter how one interprets the word “family”, there are some unbreakable foundations of this concept. For example, even in three hundred years, no man will like it if his wife sleeps with a neighbor.

The institution of marriage as a lifelong union of two created “for the purpose of conducting a joint household and reproduction of the population” seems to be coming to an end. Such couples, of course, will be, but they will no longer be considered the only norm. The civilized world generally moves towards the idea that all people are different and everyone has their own happiness.

A modern family is when a wife, lying in bed, writes from a phone via WhatsApp to her husband, who is sitting at a computer in the next room, to come and discuss some news.

Now, when the concepts of “family” and “marriage” do not always coincide, people more often have the question “For what purpose get married?” rather than “For what purpose get a divorce?” - with the second, everything is clear. But at the same time, many still go to the registry office and to the church, everything related to property and children can now be settled without marriage.

Oddly enough, answering this question is easier by looking at same-sex couples. They are fiercely fighting for the right to marry, which "ordinary" people are increasingly neglected.

Marriage in the modern world is a symbolic thing. First, we tell the public who we are. In this "we" much is meaned. From "You offend my wife - you will deal with me" or "Mom, I love you, but now I have Masha" to "For everything that this person does, I take responsibility." Getting married, we demand the public recognition of the couple as a unified whole.

Now there are almost no young families (18-21) that appeared thanks to love. Most often, it only comes to the registry office when young people try to maintain a relationship that has cracked, or the girl became pregnant. I’m glad for those families whose situation happened otherwise.

Secondly, a marriage proposal is a way of telling each other that you have both completed the search for a partner. In a civil marriage in the relations of the vast majority of couples there is some understatement. But the recognition "We are forever with you - that’s the point" is not only the prohibition of treason, for example.

But does everyone even need such an equal marriage? In general, no. There have always been and will be polygamous people, singles by state of mind, fans of harems, people who are unable to live together with a partner. The peculiarity of the current situation is that all these options gradually cease to be considered abnormal, and the concept of “family” is becoming increasingly difficult to describe in simple formulations.

Recently, the number of divorces has increased, since people no longer cling to their living space, and women can now provide themselves with money. On the one hand, it is bad, since couples are often not able to solve household issues, they are not able to repair relationships when possible, it is easier for them to simply give up. On the other hand, it seems to me, marriages have disappeared in which people, even hating each other, continue to live together.

I believe that if people feel good, living together and without marriage, then it will not be necessary to get married. What will it change, stamps in the passport? It is important to choose a partner with whom you would like to spend your whole life and have children in the future, but to get married is not so important for young people in the modern world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwtb7jz8G4k

I watched video “Stephanie Coontz: On Marriage”. Who is Stephanie Coontz? In Wikipedia I got to know, that she is an author, historian, and faculty member at Evergreen State College. She teaches history and family studies and is Director of Research and Public Education for the Council on Contemporary Families, which she chaired from 2001-2004. Coontz has authored and co-edited several books about the history of the family and marriage.

Stephanie talks about the history of marriage, about the concept of the word love. In the old days, the presence of love in marriage was considered something bad, vicious. When wives came up with affectionate names for their husbands, it was considered abnormal and sinful. The word love was used more often in relation to God or to a neighbor than to a husband. Marriage was invented in order to protect women and children. It was a way to turn strangers into relatives, so the word "wife" in many languages ​​of the world means "weaver of the world." The marriage was used for maneuvering and control. The upper class used marriage to enter into military alliances, sign peace treaties, consolidate wealth, and increase their power. The lower classes entered into marriages in order to expand their workforce and gain new connections. Such a serious matter as marriage, could not be based on such an irrational concept as love.

In the era of enlightenment, the idea arose that the older generation should not dictate to the younger how and what to do. Young people began to strive for happiness and love. States began to come up with laws that controlled marriage and did not allow self-will, such as divorce. In society, strict gender roles, the role of the husband and the role of the wife appeared. A man is a breadwinner, a wife cannot exist without a breadwinner, and a husband cannot exist without a wife who cares for children cooks food.

Currently, marriage is more fair and filled with love. Studies show that by allowing women to go to work, the state of marriage is much better. By sharing responsibilities between each other, the relationship between husband and wife has become better. According to statistics, families in which the breadwinner and the wife raise children are more likely to get divorced.

The video also provides personal examples of the speaker, as well as some research. I really liked the video, a lot of interesting information that I never knew and never thought about.

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